


minty fresh

by blushingblainey



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, condom mishaps, general embarrassment, what more could you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 14:49:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5460338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blushingblainey/pseuds/blushingblainey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i saw this tweet again at @bowtiemedown https://twitter.com/bowtiemedown/status/634997922896179200 and the idea wouldn't leave me this time, so i wrote something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	minty fresh

“Is this… a mint flavored condom?”

“Yeah, Puck gave one to all the guys last week in glee club because he was worried about our possible ‘lack of dickage.’ It was the day you left early for a doctor's appointment, or else I’m sure he would have made some joke alluding to the fact that we both have dicks so there isn’t really a lack of anything,” Kurt explains while unbuttoning his shirt and jeans.

“In that case, I’m actually glad I had to get a shot. A needle in the arm is ten times better than any of Puck’s dick jokes,” Blaine says as he strips from his clothes. “But I’m also glad Puck was worried about our sex life, because _someone_ decided not to get condoms last time we were at the drugstore across town.”

“Who knew we would end up having that much sex in that amount of time? I didn’t know my dad would be visiting D.C. and you had no idea your parents would both be out of town. Let’s just remember how much sex we got to have and not the fact that we didn’t buy condoms, okay? And who knows, me may end up only buying mint condoms from now on,” grabbing the lube from Blaine’s top nightstand drawer, Kurt crawls on the bed, settling over Blaine.

“We better not end up using only mint condoms because then we will owe part of our sex life to Puck and I never, _ever_ , want that to be reality. Let’s just have sex, _not think about Puck_ , and buy new, non-flavored condoms the next possible chance.”

“Great idea, you always have such good ideas,” Kurt praises Blaine as Kurt slips in his lubed index finger into Blaine. Usually, they like to spend more time on the foreplay and prep, but they know Pam, Blaine’s mom, will most likely be home within the hour, so they’re cutting it close even having sex. But they’re horny teenagers in love, so as they often do, they’re sneaking in sex when they get the chance. This means cutting down on drawn out prep, so once Blaine gives Kurt the ok, he adds a second, then a third finger, prepping enough so Blaine won’t be in pain but not going much farther.

Kurt pulls his fingers out to put the condom on, slicking himself up once the green condom is on ( _and really, they just had to change the color too, flavor wasn’t enough?_ ). Kurt sets the lube down on the nightstand, moving so he can line up with Blaine’s hole.

“Wait, I just have to do this,” Blaine chuckles as he moves to lie down in front of Kurt. “This whole experience will be a waste if I don’t taste it at least once. How will we know if we want to switch to these permanently without a taste test first?” Blaine takes the head of Kurt’s cock in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip, then bobbing his head down the shaft a few times. Kurt doesn’t care about the flavor at all, but if Blaine is even more willing to give him blow jobs because of it, he’s ready to buy a year's supply immediately. Blaine pulls off with a skeptical look on his face, licking his lips.

“It’s not… bad. But it’s definitely not good. It tastes like toothpaste. That’s not the taste I want in my mouth when I blow you. I don’t mind how you taste, I actually like it more than this.”

“Well, now we know: a future of mint condoms is not for us.”

“Definitely not. And I’m completely fine with that.”

“Me too… We should get back to having sex,” Blaine shifts back so he’s on his back and Kurt lays himself over Blaine again.

“I think that’s a great idea,” Blaine giggles into the kiss Kurt gives him while he lines up once again. “You have really great ideas.”

***

An hour later, Kurt and Blaine are cleaned up, clothes back on, bed made again, and working on homework at the dining table. Pam comes back from work to see the boys at the table.

“Mom! Hi,” Blaine stands, moving to give Pam a hug when he stops with his arms partly outstretched and runs in the opposite direction. Kurt and Pam stare at each other in confusion until they hear Blaine throwing up; they run to the bathroom together, finding Blaine on his knees in front of the toilet, hardly getting a breath in before retching again. Kurt walks in first, squatting behind Blaine and rubbing his back while Pam goes back to the kitchen for a glass of water. When Pam gets back, Blaine is feeling slightly better and is able to get in a sip of water.

“Honey, what brought this on? Have you felt sick at all before this?” Pam stands over Blaine, pressing the back of her hand to his forehead and then his neck, checking for fever. “You don’t feel feverish, so that’s good.”

“I haven’t felt sick at all. I have no idea what this is about,” Blaine groans out, taking another sip of water.

“Maybe it’s food related; have you had anything out of the ordinary today?”

“No, I don’t think… oh god. No, that can’t be it. No, not at all, no way,” Blaine groans out, the upset stomach feeling coming back for a completely different reason.

“B, what are you talking about?” Kurt asks, still rubbing his back.

“Um.... I think it could be from what we… did earlier.” Blaine turns his head to see Kurt’s reaction; at first Kurt has no idea what Blaine means, but it’s like a light switch turning on, because the next moment Kurt’s eyes go wide and his cheeks flush with color in seconds.

“Oh. Yeah, that could be it…”

“What are you two talking about?” Pam looks between their faces, trying to decipher what they could be talking about. “Did you eat something?”

Blaine looks back at Kurt like he’d rather fall through the floor than tell his mom their suspicion, but he knows if he doesn’t say anything, Pam will nag him until he eventually breaks and tells her. Now or…. in the future when it’d be even more awkward.

“Well…. um. Kurt and I… we-we had sex with a flavored condom. And I tasted it. And that’s probably what… this is all about. So… yeah.” Pam looks…. not as shocked as Blaine expected. Which could be good, but also incredibly awkward, and Blaine thinks it will be both.

“Well, I must say I’m not exactly _surprised_ to hear you two had sex, the flavored condom is… interesting-”

“It was from a friend. And we’re out of normal condoms. If… that makes...more sense, or something,” Kurt looks ready to join Blaine in the ground for adding to this already convoluted confession.

“That does clarify some things. Also adds even more questions, but those can be saved for later, or never.” Both Kurt and Blaine nod graciously, saving for never sounds amazing. “But I would say, the condom is probably what did it. So I’d say stick to normal.”

Pam starts to walk out of the bathroom to give the boys privacy when she adds, “But why did you even bother with the flavored condom? You shouldn’t need that, you should be clean. And what’s wrong with a little experimenting?”

Blaine’s scream of _“MOM!”_ mixes with Kurt falling on his ass behind Blaine and Pam’s laughter echoing through the house.


End file.
